The Fight Within

Sovereign Lord,

The more time passes, the more I understand that I need You.
Every time I strive to live on my own, I fail and fall on my face.

You know my heart, and that kills me daily.
My heart is filled with despair, anguish, hopelessness, anger and things that others do not see but do not escape your eye.

Oh Father!
Oh God!

I know what I want to do and what I do not want to do. Yet, what I want not to do is what I do, but what I want to do is not what I do.

I cringe at the thought of what You think of me; but I know if I believe, I stand justified by faith alone in Christ.
In You I trust, but I show You not!

Some friend I am! Maybe, I am not a true friend to You, but You are to me.
You carried the cross and died for me. Please forgive me for taking You for granted—it’s just that I do not fully understand the grandeur of what You have done.

In the end what matters is only You and solely You. So, I plea for your pardon for failing so miserably with my life even after You came and showed us how to live.

Here I stand with only my belief in Christ, and I hope that is good enough for You.

Reflection and Supplication

I have brought shame to your house,
though I claim to know You.
I have doubted Your Son,
though I have felt and seen his essence in my life.

Please, help my past, present, and future NOT be a shameful memory to You.
Please strengthen my faith and reason so I can go forth in Your name.

Let You be my focus!
Only in giving up self and selfish wants will I fully give myself to You.
So please help me! I cannot do it! I cannot bear it!
Please take not Your hand from me.
Help me seek You now and always.

Use me, touch me, embrace me, cleanse me, love me…

In You things are possible!
Help me move mountains in Your name.

Jesus is real and only through Him shall I know You!
Jesus I beg Your forgiveness.
I urge my inner being to know You.
Guide and shine my path.

By example shall I teach my children?
Help me attain their souls for You.

Lead me to oneness with my wife.

I love Thee!
You are worthy of worship and praise.
May I do so forever and ever. Amen!

Christmas

Christmas is approaching quickly. People are buying presents and planning for the company that will be coming over for dinner. I have been thinking; where does this leave God? Truthfully speaking December is not the month of Jesus' birth. It is calculated that Christ was born around spring time. However, the Church has adopted to celebrate the birth of the Savior in the month of December. The Church adopted the month of December for several reasons, which I will not delve into here. Back to my question, where does all the buying of presents and holiday planning leave God? I am afraid that the meaning of why the Church celebrates Christmas has been forgotten. The Church does not celebrate Christmas just to show we care by buying things for other people. Rather, the Church celebrates Christmas, because God came as a child in order to relate with His creation, as well as the restoration of man in the eyes of a Holy God. Is that not the good news?